Exams are over.

I can't believe it, they went by so fast!

I made the most silly most absurd mistake ever in today's Chemistry paper. The last page- I wrote the formula of potassium manganate as potassium dichromate's K2Cr2O7 formula!!!!!!!!!What's with me..WTS. But it's okay since it's a mistake carry-on thingum.

And Mr Robert Yeo is really very very nice. I thank him for spending so much time giving us extra lessons (pingyu, me, squish, ler) in the canteen these 2 days. Thank you Mr Yeo. And you have a really beautiful chinese name :)

Okay. So..now...HISTORY IA! Got to start doing Part B soon! Today spent my whole afternoon at National library..finding sources..managed to read 5 books, and selected three books as sources! Unfortunately they are all reference books..so spent rest of my EZlink card money photocopying the pages..

Hope my application for summer programme at CIM is successful..waiting..
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I feel the need to address what's been inside me all these years:

Chinese instruments. Instrumentalists. Yes.
I feel that we don't really get a lot of opportunities to be showcased.
Being a minority of the school, we have our sense of responsibility to disseminate the Chinese music culture within our community. To make chinese music more well-known. And common.
Now it is really like "School of the Western Arts".
Why?
Why is it that the string ensemble can play during Awards Day and Open house, but not us?
Why is it that they only allow pianists/singers/violinists/string players to play at Esplanade concourse?
Why is is that the drummers can play during MICA ceremony and not us, rejecting us just because we mentioned that we have a slower, more serene and 'softer' piece in mind to perform when asked? You said, we're just not grand enough. 'Cause it doesn't t fit the 'mood'.
This isn't the first time we were rejected just because our pieces are not exuberant or lively in nature.
Then why ask us in the first place? Just ask the drummers will do. They garner more attraction, and their rhythmic beats are so much more cool. Look at the way they strike the drum skins. Enough to make all of us stand in awe at such unison and synchronisation.

Why is it that chinese instrumentalists with BULKY instruments cannot apply for Switzerland Trip? 'Because the airport does not permit instruments of that size, and it's inconvenient'-that's the answer you gave me when I tried so hard to apply for the trip last year.
Then tell me, how are Yangqins being imported all the way from China?
Why are the lunchtime concerts for this half of the year being centered on the same people over and over again?
Same few..
Why aren't any chinese instrumentalists scheduled to perform in any of these lunchtime concerts?
Do we only perform during Chinese New Year and bam-that's it? Just because it's a 'Chinese' occasion?
Why is it that the school announces winners for western chamber competitions/overseas competitions and NOT local national CHINESE MUSIC competitions?
Why is it that the video advertising for OPEN HOUSE 2012 DOES NOT have any chinese instrumentalists featured?
Why doesn't the brochure for last year's open symposium  have any chinese instrumentalists on it?
Are we being kept as a secret away from arts ministers in singapore?
Why is it that a music teacher here, after knowing me for 2+ years, still think I play the Guzheng?

Why is it that people are willing to leave our chinese chamber group just to join the pop groups? So that they are ble to play for Fireworks Action and have more chances to be showcased at informal school events?
Why are people using IB workload as an excuse to quit our chamber group and then use that time to play soccer with their friends?
Why is our chamber group shrinking at such a fast rate?
Is there no drive anymore?
Same goes for indian instruments. Why are NONE of them featured on any school-related products?
When was the last time an Indian instrumentalist performed?
When was the last time the tabla performed?
I haven't seen any Veena instrumentalist perform yet. And I want to see it while I can.

We lack the opportunity to perform.
Mr Quek's really a fabulous teacher, he's the person who keeps giving us chances to perform outside of school. We thank him for that!
And during that Chinese music camp event that took place in March.
Again, that's to attract potential kids who might be interested to come to SOTA through chinese music.
And how many SOTARIANS were there to watch our feb nafa concert outside of school?
None.
How many music teachers?
One.
Performing inside of school? Nah.
How many SOTARIANS were there to watch the 2010 National chinese music competition?
None.
Teachers?
Two.

And the best thing is, the principal/vice-principals weren't even there at all.
Never. Not at all. Never.
Only at Awards Day, Open House, Official opening ceremony, MICA ceremonies.
Big, grand, exciting events that invite the masses and the ministers. And good food. And the Prime minister.
Well, the MICA investiture ceremony in which I performed in year 1, NONE of any fellow school teachers/students/mates were there. Only Mr Ryan. Only him. The teachers who smiled so tenderly at the young me and signed me up for it, weren't even there.
How disappointed and saddened I was, there, on stage, eyes scanning through rows and rows of audience, and not finding any familiar face. Only my family's and Mr Ryan.
I can still remember how isolated i felt.

What's the real use of performing during Moonfest when none of our student community are hearing us? Only a teacher who so kindly treated us to strawberries and chocolates after the concert- a subconscious act of sympathy to comfort us for working so hard and yet nobody from our school is present to enjoy fruits of our labour?
Why?

What's the use of performing outside school when we don't even get the chance to perform in school for our friends to hear what chinese instruments sound like and what instruments we play?
Are we really that inconspicuous(my favourite word)?
Are we still part of the music community here?
Being a chinese instrumentalist here, I want to invest in my art.
Not just to improve my artistic abilities, but to benefit everyone and enrich their musical experience with more variety of musical styles.

Anyone can answer any of the questions I've posted above?

That's it.
I have to go for SNYO practices every thursday 7 pm starting from May.
Means, I can't go for chamber lessons (630-730pm) anymore.
Meh.
Now how.

Haha, woooooooooooooooot!!!!!!!!!!! got great news recently. :) Never expected it!!!

The hardest consequence of this news is...how to break them to certain people around me. Especially them. And her. And him. And..


But nevermind. I'll find a way to, someday! Looking forward to a whole new phase in life when that moment comes.

And I thank everyone who has helped me, my family, teachers, supportive friends, whoever and so.

And now, finally, I would need to convince someone to let me go..the hardest person to persuade!

Fighting!